It’s Pretending clear that gender differences entail way more than just the way people look or the different things that their bodies go through; they can also present themselves in even the most mundane of things, such as the size of one’s jean pockets, for instance. (Shoutout to wearers of women’s jeans that fit basically nothing in the pockets, while men’s ones could fit a medium-sized lawnmower; or at least they look like they could, when compared.)
But knowing that such differences exist doesn’t make it easier for some people to understand—or have empathy for—those of the opposite sex better. In order to be understood better, women of Reddit recently took to a thread started by a member of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community to discuss the things they wished men would get. Their answers covered everything from menstrual pain to the aforementioned pocket size of their jeans, so if you’re curious to see what else they emphasized, scroll down to find their thoughts on the list below.
“We Are Not Pretending”: 1.
We don’t get colorful hair, long nails, lips filled, make up done and outfits on to appear attractive to men.
We do want to look nice for some men on occasion. But the majority of the time it’s because *we* feel good like that.
You think i dyed my hair pastel purple to seem attractive to some dudes? I felt AWESOME with them.
AND a lot of other women compliment you. Which is a nice addition.
So the “actually, men don’t like black lipstick” is meaningless. *I* like black lipstick. It is not for you. It is for me.
“We Are Not Pretending”: 2.
Here’s a dumb one: the amount of toilet paper we need to use. I’ve seen a lot of men complain about how much TP the women in their house go through, and they say things like “I hardly use any! Why can’t they learn to live off a few squares like I do!”
Men don’t understand that women have a lot more to clean up. Men usually only use it after going #2 or to clean up a little drip. Women can’t just shake it and be done. We also have discharge to clean up, which is constant (not just when we’re aroused as some men believe) and it’s only worse when we’re ovulating. Then on top of that we have periods to deal with. We need more toilet paper than you do! Get off our back!
“We Are Not Pretending”: 3.
That truly sharing household and domestic tasks means doing it unprompted. I don’t want to have to ask you to tidy up or answer questions if it’s your turn to cook or constantly manage social calendars and remind you or things. My brain needs a break too and taking initiative means a lot.
“We Are Not Pretending”: 4.
A lot of us don’t view you as protectors. I know that’s the image you have been sold since you were a child, but the people you are supposedly protecting us from come from the same group you do. And bad men don’t walk around with a sign saying “I’m a bad man” so our caution has to be applied as a blanket policy. We don’t hate you, we just know that if something bad happens to us the first thing people will do is ask why we even “put ourselves in that situation”. It’s not personal.
“We Are Not Pretending”: 5.
Just treat us like we are PEOPLE, not just women. That would fix a LOT of things.
If we have s*x with you, we may get pregnant, even with contraception.
You may then disappear, even after acting like a respectable person, and fight any ties to your child forever.
We may be required by law to bear your child, and become a mother alone, struggling to support ourselves and a newborn.
If we don’t die during pregnancy or childbirth, which is more common in some parts of the US than in any other development nation.
So don’t ask why women won’t just sleep with you, why we won’t “give you a chance” and just have sex once, or why we’re not going to Netflix-and-chill for the first date. Women enjoy s*x too, but we are facing the rest of our lives potentially raising your child alone, if we don’t die first.
